Aha, clicking into this post means you’re a person with a sexual quirk, congratulations, you’re brave, many people can’t face up to their sexual quirks, but you did! You deserve to be commended for it.
Maybe you’re facing a problem right now and that is that you’ve discovered your weird fetishes and you want to try them out with your partner, but you just don’t know how to talk to them about it. So you have to suppress your inner desires, but this is actually not good for your health and you should learn to communicate with your partner about sexual topics, including your weird fetishes.
In this article, I will teach you how to make your partner willing to try out the kinks you crave with you, and for you to learn how to put your curiosity in the right perspective, communicate openly about your desires to each other, and make your sexual kinks an important part of your intimate relationship.
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Definition of Kink
The definition of a kink is something that is psychologically and physically taboo, although everyone has a different definition of what is normal and what is not, so kinks vary significantly for different people.
For example, if you and your partner are in a very traditional relationship, and the sexual positions you use may be limited to simple positions such as missionary, then perhaps anal sex and doggy style are taboo for you. For some people, on the other hand, these sexual styles are perfectly acceptable and normal, and they don’t consider them part of the kink at all. Perhaps in their eyes, kink might be play such as BDSM, role-playing, nipple play, sensory deprivation, etc., but of course everyone’s boundaries are different, and maybe these things aren’t kinks to some people either.
The conclusion is that kink has different definitions for different people, and as long as it falls under kink in your eyes, then it is kink. Make sure your partner’s consent is in order before exploring, it’s an important prerequisite for all sexual behavior.
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How to Tell Her
First of all, there’s no guarantee that your partner will like your quirks, but the right way of communicating can greatly increase the probability of acceptance, so next I’m going to teach you how to learn to communicate properly with your partner.
DO: You need to be honest with your partner about what you’re thinking before you and your partner decide to start trying it out, it’s very important to discuss the quirks beforehand, only then can you make sure that both of you are enjoying it rather than being shocked or even frightened.
DO NOT: Don’t try to surprise her with your quirks, because you are not guaranteed that she likes your quirks, and the other person is likely to be confused or startled if she suddenly tries something new during sex. And with many women, the lines of sexual consent become blurred during sex because you are having sexual activity, and she may have to accept your requests because she feels pressured to do so, which not only puts psychological pressure on her, but also makes your sexual experience a bad one.
DO: Introduce your partner to why you want to try this quirk and let them understand the reason behind it, because if you suddenly say to your partner that you want to try something new, then a reasonable explanation can go a long way in helping the other person come to terms with the idea, or at least it will allow her to understand the reason why you’re doing it, which will make the first attempt a lot more logical.
DO NOT: Don’t try to use threats or emotional blackmail to get your partner to agree to explore kinks with you, e.g. you don’t love me if you don’t let me try anal sex, this is clearly an unreasonable threat to the other person and leaves them with no choice, you may even break out into a fight over it if your partner isn’t willing to accommodate your irrationality so don’t communicate with your partner in this way.
DO: If your partner doesn’t want to explore kinks, then you can consider the possibility of exploring kinks outside of your relationship, but only if you ask your partner’s permission, and it’s important that she knows what you’re going to be doing and what you think about it. There are some people who will organize special kink parties or classes that you can go to with your partner’s consent.
There’s One More Thing
Don’t shame her or get mad at her because she doesn’t want to try your kinks, everyone has a different level of acceptance of sexual activity and everyone has different preferences, so no one should shame their partner for not wanting to try kinks. Respect and immediately your partner’s preferences, even if she doesn’t match your sexual needs 100%, it’s completely normal and look at your relationship with a relaxed mindset.
